At this time of year it is usual to have new year’s resolutions and wishes, certain objectives or goals to be achieved arise… What can you tell me about this subject?
It is very common. When we are guided by the calendar we notice a change, a kind of new stage or opportunity to start over. It’s a bit like that notebook with blank pages I was telling you about, that taste we have for starting from scratch, that taste for writing skillfully and neatly. All these proposals for change, for improvement, for doing things differently, are very useful to each one according to their stage of the journey they’re at.
But I would say that the best purpose or goal is that which is achieved at the very moment we find ourselves in right now. Something that you have right now and that by its very nature cannot be lost. We all seek a stable peace and well-being that we intend to achieve in some future through this or that. However, that soft joy and serene contentment are right here and now and are independent of whatever is happening in our current perception, that is, what we observe in the world or in our mind.
Precisely this one who observes lives at the core of the spiritual heart in an environment of sonorous silence… It is an echoing silence because it is full. It is not the silence of a dead void, of inert things irreparably. It is a very living silence, as if it were a fresh and immaterial liquid or a living aroma that ripples everywhere.
How to get there?
It is precisely when you see it as something that is ” out there” or in the future that the essence of what we are talking about escapes you. You have to try to believe what I tell you and try, to take a sample in your own experience to see if what I tell you is true. As soon as you have a moment in the daily hustle and bustle of life, sit down for a moment where you are comfortable. Leave your body still for a few moments, without stiffness but more or less still. Ignore the countless fluctuations of the mind just for a few moments. Remain present and attend to the silence… It is like a space between sounds, an intangible something that you will nevertheless perceive. Or, if you prefer, attend to the space between things, to that “emptiness” that separates one object from another… I can’t tell you more… It’s something you notice or maybe not, it depends a lot on the willingness and dedication you put into that attention.
How can I tell if I have discovered what you are referring to?
Again you take the mind stance and from there, you try to grasp something that cannot be grasped or possessed because it is immaterial. But it is not the nothingness, but rather the whole of God’s subtle presence, or as I like to say: it is Christ embracing you. It is likely that you feel a gratitude emerging from your heart that has no object, you feel grateful for no reason. When we realize that in reality we are always involved in grace, feeling grateful seems the only thing to “do”. We discover that we are always protected, sheltered; the hidden helplessness by which we usually live disappears. What the psalmist said becomes our own truth, and some monks sing: “My refuge is in the Most High… my refuge is with the Most High…!
But it’s difficult, not because I sit still for a while and listen, I’m going to find what he says. I have taken similar attitudes but the mind prevailed and that made me feel uneasy.
It is possible. In that case, offer your restlessness and uneasiness to that God you seek and that you can’t find. Claim your right to discover the meaning of life, which is what line us up with His will. Claim with respect but vehemently your right to peace and meaning, to the access to the sacred. When that cry is deep, when you realize that it is the only thing you truly desire beyond all that you seek… You recognize in your very act of consecration and search that which you claim. Everything that happens has meaning, rest in it…